Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
