So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
