I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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