It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize