I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You're a waste of cheezeits
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
