woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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