There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
What a dumb baby whore.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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