chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
