I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
