My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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