That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
