whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
