I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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