I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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