Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
