is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize