She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize