My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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