grandma shit on top of the toilet
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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