people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
A bitchslap is in order.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
