hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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