New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
