I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
operation harelip BJ is a go
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
