Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
