I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Quick, to the slutcave!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
