you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
