am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
