i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
