She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
