if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
