O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
