im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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