life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
