My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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