ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Moan for me like Helen Keller
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
