"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
