My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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