I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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