You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
