so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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