is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
