I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
