I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
