she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
