I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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