a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
