If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
