Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
