North Korea, Best Korea!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I booty called her while she was in labor.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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