it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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