I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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