How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You're a waste of cheezeits
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
