WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
