Non-Jews are for practice
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
