Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
