Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
