if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Shame is for Republicans.
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