My first STD was from a foam party
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
